Stupid Cupid!

 

I had crush on a shy guy

I’d seen him look my way

I felt the arrow of love

But how to say be mine? Kiss me! Say the word, you got me!

Light bulb, a Valentine!

I picked one out that said ‘You’re on my mind’

I looked high and low, where’d he go?

Then in the bushes, his bare behind bobbin’ up and down

I tore that card up fine as snow

Stupid Cupid

 

On my own, my first job

Imagine my surprise to see

My desk was right beside a man

Who could make me do handstands

All week I felt a barb in my heart

What a way to start!

When he offered to take me to lunch my heart was smitten

He opened up some cat food and called me his kitten

Twice smarter once bitten!

Stupid Cupid

 

At my sister’s wedding

I thought the photographer was hot

He finished with the wedding party and said

he’d like a few shots of just me

I felt the arrow again, okay I said

I followed dreamy to his studio

But wouldn’t you know

He wanted all my clothes off first

I have the feeling I’m utterly cursed

Stupid Cupid

 

I’ll never marry

Never in my life

Never have a husband

never be a wife

and if I ever find that cherub

I’ll jab him with a knife!

Stupid Cupid

Stupid Cupid

Leave me alone

Stupid Cupid!

 

Stupid Cupid!

heart-sheepI had crush on a shy guy

I’d seen him look my way

I felt the arrow of love

But how to say be mine? Kiss me! Say the word, you got me!

Light bulb, a Valentine!

I picked one out that said ‘You’re on my mind’ with pink hearts all aglow

I looked high and low, where’d he go?

Then in the bushes, his bare behind bobbin’ up and down

I tore that card up fine as snow

Stupid Cupid

 

On my own, my first job heart-pan

Imagine my surprise to see

My desk was right beside a man

Who could make me do handstands

All week I felt a barb in my heart

What a way to start!

When he offered to take me to lunch my heart was smitten

He opened up some catfood and called me his kitten

I never went back to that dump

Stupid Cupid

 heart-pitcher-pictureAt my sister’s wedding

I thought the photographer was hot

He finished with the wedding party and said

he’d like a few shots of just beautiful me

I felt the arrow again, okay I replied                      June 13 016        

I followed dreamy to his studio

But wouldn’t you know

He wanted all my clothes off first

I have the feeling I’m utterly cursed

Stupid Cupid

 

I’ll never marry

Never in my life

Never have a husbandheart-cup-close

never be a wife

and if I ever find that cherub

I’ll jab him with a knife

Stupid Cupid

Stupid Cupid

A Poem by Elise t’Hoot from Hate All Around

Tug of the Leash

 

I never knew the loneliest word was home

Home

That’s where you are and where I feel I’ll never be again

What do you think and do you want this wandering wreck to come home?

Home?

I go to bed and miss your touch

Do you miss me all that much?

I feel undressed without your kiss,

I’m wrapped in plastic, apart from what’s true

I want to go home,

to home and you

I never knew the loneliest word was home

Home

Like a dog tied out to post stuck in the yard, straining at the end of her chain

aching to chase the rabbits, to smell the smells,

the unbending limit of her well-defined circle puts her under a spell

Escape, run free, it fills her head

But what about that tree, where the good man came to rattle the food bowl,

fill the water, to check the collar?

He’d rub my ears with such strong hands, with such suave words

Was that home?

I never knew there was a word so lonely as home

How can I claim I’ll change my ways if you let me back to stay

to raise the kids, to make the cakes and search the sky until my poor heart breaks

Darling, does that mean I can’t come home?

I’m a trillion miles from you

How empty does it echo, that warm and sweet idea,

of toys underfoot and books on the shelves

of the shelter and the permanence of home?

Mate or master what does it matter?

I cry for you

and Home

Bark 2